X-Games XV:  The Good, the Bad, and the Gnarly
Thoughts on the world’s biggest action sports event by Jason Ryan 

I haven’t really watched the X-Games for the last few years, but this summer work was slow and I had ESPN, ESPN 2, and ABC on Dish Network, so I figured I’d check ‘em out.  Like most BMX riders, there are things I both love and hate about the X-Games.  For example, I love watching big air.  You don’t see people jumping humongous gaps and airing giant quarters very often, so it’s a real treat.  And when those guys wreck, they spend more time sliding on Skatelite than they do rolling in and being in the air combined.  But there are some really stupid things about the X-Games as well, as I’m sure you've noticed.  But first-

The Good

BMX park—Last year, ESPN switched up the park course from crazy box jumps and wallrides to a concrete-style skatepark like some of the public parks that are being built around the world currently.  This year they actually did add concrete to part of the course. The riders handled this new style of park far better this year than last year.  The only guy that rode the park like it should’ve been ridden last year was Diogo Canina.  This year a number of riders rode that shits the way it should be ridden.  I will say that I know it can be ridden even better, though.  The skaters are still skating the park better than the riders are riding it, and there’s no excuse for that when we can build up more speed and do bigger transfers. 

The new jam format--People don’t like single runs because they’re too limited for time, you have to be a consistent robot to win, and there’s no time to try something risky that might take a few tries to pull.  I still liked that format better than the “jam format” in which five riders (or more) competed in a free-for-all snake-fest, which was hard to judge, hard for the audience to watch, and even harder to cover on video or still photos.  This new style of hybrid jam format they ran this year is the evolution of competition format, combining the best of both worlds.  The contest moved along smartly, no waiting for dorky interviews, no waiting for TV, or any of that crap.  The “jam” lasts a set amount of time, and riders take turns until everyone cycles through, then the lineup starts again and runs through over and over until time is up.  A rider’s run is done after either they become detached from their bike, experience a “full stoppage of motion”, or run out a set amount of time per single-rider run.  You get the course to yourself, without worry of somebody taking you out mid-air, but you can still try whatever you want almost as many times as you want.  The sooner every park contest everywhere adopts this method, the better. 

The MEGA-MO—What a stupid ass name.  But the footage didn’t look stupid, it looked sick as hell.  I love these digital cameras that will overcrank footage nowadays.  The “mega-mo” records 600 frames a second.  You play that shits back at 24 fps or 30fps and it is sluuuuuuw.  You can even read the expressions on the riders’ faces at that rate, which is good, except from when the camera is on Scotty Cranmer. 

Busty racks on BMX chicks--Barely a bmx wife or girlfriend could be found in the pits that didn’t have a voluptuous bosom. They also all seemed to possess a wholesome, girl-next-door, In-N-Out Burger employee look as well. Very different than the bros’ girlfriends and wives.  They all looked like porn skanks.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, no sir.  Speaking of scantily-clad ladies, what was up with the chicks in tube tops and bikinis holding umbrellas over the rally car guys?  Again, not complaining one bit.  Those bitches can hold an umbrella over me anytime.  They can hold something else, too, if yaknowwhatImean, eh, eh?  And by something else, I mean my penis. 

Original camera angles--The camera guys got a camera on the frame of one of the guys bikes.  That footage looked cool.  But the footage from the camera mounted underneath the skateboard looked much better.  A dolly shot from a worm’s eye view traveling 10-20 mph was something pretty special. 

Kevin Robinson’s no-handed flairs--Not only does he extend his arms as far away from his ripped torso as possible, he also extends his fingers as far away from his hands as he can.  Let’s hear it for jazz hands, everybody! 

Gary Young’s long hair—Like a fatty at McDonald’s, I’m lovin’ it!  You gotta admit, long hair on a rider adds an element to an already great performance.   I was actually a little bummed when Johnny Stevens showed up to film “Johnny’s Good Year” with a freshly-shorn pseudo-skinhead.  The slo-mo stuff of him came out great in that piece, but having his dark curls slowly bounce around would have added just that right aesthetic that really boosts production value.

The Bad

The shameless pimping of Pastana’s dirtbike 360 flip--We get it, aiight?  He’s going to go for a trick that’s never been pulled before.  So are a lot of people in the X-Games.  I know you wanna build anticipation and that’s all good, but let me have a break to drink some gott-damn Gatorade while you’re forcing “All Travis, all the time” down my esophagus.   

Moto X trick names--What shroomer is naming these tricks?  The Fred Flintstone?  The Running Man?  You know it’s a sketchy situation when the names of real tricks sound gayer than a Double-Pits-To-Chesty.

The motorcycle and car racing stuff--Does anyone give two shits about this shit?  I don’t.  Except the part where the rally cars jump the big jump.  I suppose I get my fascination with flying cars from growing up watching Dukes of Hazzard.  YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  HAAAAAAAWWWWWWW! 

Backpack-wearing pit doods—WTF was going on with all the backpack-sporting fools in the pits?  Each event’s bound to last at least a good hour, where you goin?  The X-Games has enough effing security.  What, you think a heavily credentialed team manager’s gonna  snag your shit?  Take a load off and set that shit down, man! 

1^st on the To be fired list:  The director of BMX Street--I don’t know how many times I missed a decent view of a trick because the director was on the jib shot or some other useless angle.  Mission 1: Figure out how to cover the goddamn contest so the viewers at home can see WTF is going on.  Mission 2:  Show some fancy camerawork and switching, but never interfere with Mission 1.  The director seriously needs to get shitcanned.  Or at least busted down to graphics until he can figure out how to show the folks at home the tricks in real time. 

Also on to be fired list:  The director of Skateboarding Big Air--Okay, we know they don’t give two runny shits about the paying spectators at these events.  We KNOW that.  But the director cut to commercial during Bob Burnquist’s run?  WTFH?!  This shits is MADE for TV!  At least do ONE thing right!  Please, someone goddammit!  Listen, bud.  All you have to do, in your job, is air one decent shot of every trick.  Not too close, not too far away.  But you’re so busy throwing up graphics and Masakela’s ugly puss to even do that shit right.  I will give you this, though.  The shot from the top of the mega quarter was sick.  The riders and skaters spend such a long time in the air that that shot really accents it well. 

And the Gnarly

The Passion of the Danny—AKA Skateboarding Big Air Rail Jam.  Watching an injured Danny Way slam over and over again to finally pull a switch 50/50 was more torturous for the audience than for him.  I’m all for dudes rising to the occasion and all, but I was so relieved that he finally pulled the goddamn trick not because it looked great (because it didn’t), but because it got him to stop taking runs.

After it was all shot and televised, I had a relatively good time watching X-Games 15.  As bad as the director of BMX street was, whoever directed BMX park and skateboarding park was good.  He or she caught the tricks from good angles in a very fast moving rider situation.  As long as they cut down on the racing in future X-Games, it will only get better for the viewers.  I have little doubt that many of the good changes over the years have been enacted due to the persistence of the athletes, telling ESPN how they can improve the contest and coverage.  Props to ESPN for doing some listening.