JAM OUT WITH YOUR CLAM OUT  The Natalie Wagoner Interview

Photography: Kimbro Staken

Intro, Interviewer, Vid capturer, Videographer, Editor:  Jason Ryan

"Why you gotta give the first ever full interview on the website to a girl?"  Hey, as long as I've been living in Arizona, no serious girl riders have come up until now. Sure, I saw that one chick on Mill riding some chrome 20" that said she rode street regularly, and I met a girl at the Wedge once sporting a flatland bike that claimed she was trying to learn some stuff, but I never saw either of them ever again. Here and there, an Arizona female has dabbled in the freestyle form of bmx, but Natalie is the real deal. It's difficult coming into what has been pretty much an all-guys scene and getting up in the mix.  She's breaking new ground around these parts, and I respect that. Better than just being a hardcore rider herself, Natalie has been working on getting other girls into riding as well. I think every male rider can appreciate more ladies kickin' it with us, even the gay dudes. I mean, homos have to have someone to shop for the very latest bmx fashions with them, right?



How old are you, and how long have you been riding?

I'm 18 years old, and I've been riding...Easter was actually one year.

Okay. And what got you started riding?

My friends and my brother have been into bmx for the past 5, 6 years, and I've always been the one to drive, and chauffeur them around. So it was always like a blast to watch, and finally I just decided to try it, and see if it was as fun as I thought it looked.

Nat is in the process of getting a tattoo of a handgun in a garter on her upper thigh. Yeah, she catches air on vert!  And she's strapped, too!  What!

Why do you call yourself Fatalie on message boards? Do you think you're fat?

No, I eat A LOT. I can out-eat almost any guy, I promise. Plus, if you replace my
my first and last name, the first letters with f, my name is Fatalie Fagoner, so....yeah.

Heh, heh, Fatalie Fagoner. But you don't think you're fat?

Oh, no, no, no.

So your favorite thing to ride is vert. What makes riding the most difficult
and dangerous thing in bmx so appealing?

Basically, when I first started coming out here, I mean, all the guys were [doing]
like huge tricks on ramps and everything, and no one was ever riding vert, and so I basically retreated to it and I just rode it over and over by myself because no one was there to...well not bother me, but, you know, it was just always available and I knew no one would be riding it, and it's just grown onto me...I love it.

So kinda like, it was a little intimidating being out there on the street course?

Yeah, definitely. When I ride in front of a bunch of guys it's nerve-racking. I can imagine it's nerve-racking for any guy, much less a beginning bmx gal, so it was just kinda my safe haven.

Hmm, that's cool. Yeah, that's how it was for me, first going out to the dirt jumps and all these guys jumping, clearing jumps I knew I couldn't clear at first, it was very intimidating.

Yeah, definitely.

When you wrecked and tore your scooch a while back, did that scare you?

You know, it didn't scare me at all. Injuries, I'm not really afraid, cause I've always been an athlete and stuff, so injuries don't really affect my willingness to try something and stuff, but I was just bummed, because when I wrecked it was our first stop, the first day of our riding road trip weekend, so I was just more bummed that I couldn't ride.

                                             

What road trip?

We went to San Diego, and it was at Real Ride, and I nosedived into the foam pit, and I didn't have any bar ends...

Ohh, so it was the handlebar.

Yeah, I was holding on, and I did a no-footer, and like every time I say no-footer, everyone thinks that I mashed on the seat, but I did it perfectly, as I was going in, this hand slipped (she makes motion of right hand slipping) and I went like that (she makes motion of left hand turning with bars) and landed, and it went through my jeans, and....yeaah.

Yeaah. That's what happened, well, similar, with my bar end. I had bar ends, went into my groinal area. Gave me a hernia.

Oh my gosh.

Yup.

I just had five stitches.

Really?

The worst.

That's burly.

Yeah.

Okay, every time I see you ride, you're wearing the low-slung jeans, and half of your ass crack shows when you bend over to pedal.  Do you realize you're making dozens of little boys lust after you every time you take a run?

Nah. I just... basically like my body's like, immune to the breeze that anyone else would get, so, I really don't notice, and, I don't know.

True or False: The clinical definition of blue balls, is: "pain in the groinal area due
to prolonged vasocongestion"

Ummm, true.

How many days a week do you ride?

Oh, seven. Definitely. Unless I've gone on a streak, and I just can't ride, but, I honestly ride every day.

Seriously seven, huh?

Well, Saturday, Sunday, I ride here, and then I work here Monday through Friday, so, any moment I can, I'm riding.

And they let you ride while you're on duty?

Oh yeah.

That's awesome.

Best job ever, basically.

Very good. A fair number of male riders like to "rock out with their cocks out." Being a female rider, do you "jam out with your clam out"*?

Oh my God, that's so disgusting, NO! No.

Tell me about the "Show me your boobies" sign in Vegas.

Awww, no. We just decided to be annoying little teenagers, and we just made a sign to flash at people when we were driving, so... You know, a lot of men actually lifted up their shirt for me, but the guys had zero, so they were pretty disappointed.

Lewwsers!

Yeeah...

                                            

Tell me about playing "truth or dare" at the Anthem park on the Vegas trip.

Oh my God. Umm, a lot of nudity, ummm, yeah...

Oh, shit.

Yeah. It was FREEZING, and we all just huddled into this little section, all of us in our sleeping bags cause we had nowhere else to stay, but, yeah, let's just say there was a lot of nudity.

I hear your moms has a pretty crazy mix of Laotian and English.

Oh my gosh. She has her own language. And my father and I are destined to publish a dictionary containing all the words she's made up, or mixed.

That's awesome.

One example would be, my brother and I were going out, and, she's just like, "Weah yoo guys going, you gah to skatepahk?", and my brother and I were just laughing, and she's like, "Wahso fahnny?" We're just like, are you kidding me, mom?

Natalie brought a new dynamic to the protest at the Tempe Skatepark grand opening.  It's good for those in charge to see that bmx riders aren't all rabble-rousing teenage boys.  We got some rabble-rousing teenage girls, too.

Sweet. What's it like working at Phoenix Skatepark?

It's amazing, cause like, I don't know. Okay, this is what I do. I come in, clock in,
go on My Space, sit around some, get something to drink, go on the internet again, go and ride, come back, and then, take the trash out.

Collect a paycheck.

Oh, yeah.

Nice.

It's worth 7 dollars an hour.

Geez. It's like being sponsored!

I kinda see it like getting paid to ride, or skate.

Nice, nice. You skate, too?

I try to. I don't know any tricks, but I can flow around the ramps and stuff, it's fun.

Cool. What's your other job?

My other job, I work at TC Luigi's. I'm a counter gal, a server, a cook, and a delivery driver when need be.

What's TC Luigi's?

It's like a pizza place. You know, just a pizza place.

I loved how you wore a skirt for your run in the Kronik contest last year. Elaborate on your choice of clothing.

I don't know, I just wanted to do something different, and the Kronik contest was actually the first contest I entered. I was SO unbelievably nervous, cause, my original plans were to have the Fort contest be my first contest, and, literally, a week before...I had never been in the big section out there and that's where the contest was, and, three days before, the guys were like, "ENTER!" and, I was like, "Okay, FINE, whatever", so I just rode around, and I was like, "Man, I'm really nerrrvous, I need to do something like, outrageous!" And so, I was like, "I'll just dress up like a schoolgirl, get style points."

Did you have your hair in pigtails?

Yeah.

Nice. Nice. Fuzzy puppies, rainbows and ladybugs, or skulls, snakes and daggers?

Ummm, I really don't know where this is going, but I'll go with the latter choice.

What about "bros"?

Oh God! Boys make fun of me cause I think bros are hot, cause I don't like the whole "guys wearing gal jeans" thing, and so, like, if we go see...my friend Robert does motocross, so if we go watch his demos there's like a ton of Dickies, and flatbills, and stuff. I'm just like, "Ahh, those guys are hot," and they're like, "God, Nat, you're soooo laaame." And they call it bro-itis.

Bro-itis.

Yeah.

And that was the next question. What about dudes wearing ladies pants?

Aww, You know, honestly, when I used to live in Tucson, like, 5, 6 years ago, my friends, they were like basically the skater dudes and like hardcore punk guys were just wearing tight jeans, and it wasn't a big deal back then. I just don't like it, cause guys now that do it, that think it's cool or whatever, are the guys that were like, kicking my friends' asses back then. I really don't care, like [on] some guys I think it looks attractive. I wish they didn't make a big deal about it. But I'm not going to call anyone out on it. I don't care what they wear.

In a recent "Inside the Actors Studio" interview, Keifer Sutherland told host James Lipton that his favorite word was Latin-- "Gravitas".  Natalie, what is your favorite word?

My favorite word, is.......I don't know...ummm...Heinous.

Heinous, is that traditional spelling, H-E-I-N-O-U-S, or the new, anus with an H?

Naw, traditional.

Okay, and that's it.

Sweeet.

Click here to see a video clip of Fatalie Fagoner in action.

*"jam out with your clam out" phrase provided courtesy of Josh Small, copyright @2005

Special thanks to Manager Justin and Phoenix Skatepark for helping make this interview possible.