You know how, after a contest, even though a bunch of sick shit went down, and you talked to a bunch of people, and you saw a bunch of bananas sitting on the floor, just sitting there ripening, you can only recall but a few things to tell those poor souls that couldn’t make it out what happened? Well, here are a few snippets from my memory banks that somehow escaped the post-comp haze:
Mike Hines and his new friend, Afro. I announced for the amateurs, and when I noticed Mike’s new headgear, I told him to straight braid that shit. Rows, dawg, rows.
Three most popular tricks in amateur- Sketchy backflips, smooth 360’s, and turnbars. You read that right….TURNBARS!. Those kids are blowin’ up!!!
The unbearable heat drove all the spectators home to their cold, cold A/C well before pro finals even started.
Announcing sure is fun. It’s a lot more fun when you can see more than 20% of what the rider is doing in his run, though. At the Celestial Domination contest coming up in October, I’m bringing about 50 feet of mike cable. Then I’ll announce from atop the box whilst performing rock squats.
Casa Grande BJ cold represented his ghetto hillbilly town with a 540 tailtap on the mini quarter with zero pedaling and zero hoppage. Straight swivel! Now that’s what I like to see. As good as most of those young ladies look that hang around the Casa concrete park, I’m gonna hafta straight swivel my ass over there and get myself a little Casa Grande BJ.
Danny Williams was sporting a bandage on his face. He claims that he had wrecked himself icepicking the mini rail at Revolution, but I think it was just an out of control pimple. He tore that shizee off the side of his head before his run, and commenced to blow doors with a 540 tailwhip tailtap on the 7 foot quarter. He pedaled a little, but….SHIT, MAN! HE PULLED A 540 TAILWHIP TAILTAP!!!
Dave Taylor had great runs packed with hard back to back tricks, but still didn’t qualify for the finals. Pretty tough competition for a small contest with one and a half spectators.
Vic Murphy can-can footplanted the big wedge sub, then fired out a killer lookback swivel around from a rollback, bro!
In Pro finals, Chris Myers tried to transfer from the 5’ quarter, across the 7’ quarter, into my brand new Canon GL-1 video camera. Who’s glad he didn’t pull it? Me, stupid!
Will Bissell was flowing all over the park just as if he rode there every day. Wait a minute…. Anywho, he 540’d the vert wall, 540 transferred from the new 8’ quarter into the 5’ quarter that stuck 2’ out from the 8’quarter, and even pulled a 540 on the big ass wedge. And he did it all on a bike that looks like he jacked it from some 10 year-old intermediate at the track.
Andy Leland has gotten damn good, yo!
Super G rocks the mike. He announced the pros’ runs since I was competing. 20% of the pros’ runs, that is.
For a guy that said it wasn’t even his contest, Ross Cole sure was running his ass off all day TCB’ing like a mug. Make sure to thank that fool next time you see him for putting all that time and effort into what is always a thankless job.